just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize