Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Randomize
