we made out on top of his cat.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
