I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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