The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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