you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
