What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
