Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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