im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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