so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
