There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
