tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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