take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
