I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
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