If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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