I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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