Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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