pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
