that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
