He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
