Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
They took my balls.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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