I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
She even gives head with a lisp.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
