So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Michael Bay diarrhea
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
