Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
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