It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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