When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Vodka?
Forever.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize