I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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