you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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