plz talk dirty to me
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
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