Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
