did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize