Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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