You made me cry and you don't even care
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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