We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
