There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
