we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
