i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
