We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize