we have pet lesbian snakes
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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