Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
