a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
