mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
