i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
