I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
