why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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