3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
