She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize