Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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