I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
