If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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