Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize