I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
