question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
