I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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