you have to choose: penises or morals?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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