Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
