she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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