How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
What drink are we having for lunch?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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