im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
