Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
