pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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