There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
