why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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