I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
