Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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