she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
