so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
