you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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