I'm drive I can fine osifer
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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